For the past few months, I woke up to thoughts of my father being disappointed at me.
You know that feeling where you did something really bad and managed to sleep only to wake up with the chemical emotions still running through your body? Yeah.
However, 9 days ago I mustered the courage to email my father. I told him that I want to pursue a career in music and that there is no way I can give that up.
I’m still alive with no broken limbs. He didn’t kick me out of the house either, and I sleep like a baby these days.
It’s crazy how we complicate things in our minds. I knew by heart that I wanted to do this since 2007 and my biggest barrier was ‘How do I tell my parents?’
If you have parents who believe in what you do then you can’t relate to this. There’s a photo of a concert promoter I worked with, from Austin, with his father, having a chat with Kendrick Lamar backstage at a show. Seeing that photo made me realize something that held me back. I know I can’t have ‘that’. I know that my family will not celebrate my success or be part of it.
Do you know what it feels like to not have those you love, around you in your proudest moments?
I am in a new life though. I don’t have my parents as an excuse anymore. My success or failure is all on me now. Like Walter White said “Live life on your own terms.”
Despite all of the problems I have, I am so lucky. Life stripped me of everything I had, including a legal country of residence, and said “Here. Now, what are you going to do?”
I made a Breaking Bad reference here so I won’t end with a Fight Club one.
This is my 2nd of 100 posts under “Before We Get Started”. In 99 days I will turn 10,000 days old and start my journey to travel the world through music. You can learn more about my story here.